I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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