I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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