she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
