my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
please come you make the beer taste better
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
