your room smells of hookers.
And success
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
