Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I smell stomach acid.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
