when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
