so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
