im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
NoShamevember. You game?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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