Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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