apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There r osticjed everywhere
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
