the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
