i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize