I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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