You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
