David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
