so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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