You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
