when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
