I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
