i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
