Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
