I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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