Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How does one acquire holy water?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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