New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
