i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
