So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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