I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Soap is not a condiment
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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