my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize