I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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