It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
