Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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