no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
