I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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