Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
