hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
