You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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