M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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