You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
a search helicopter?!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize