If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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