then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i now understand why vodka
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
