He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
