I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
