Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
where are you?
Hypothermia
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
