Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
