Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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