he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
