our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize