fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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