I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
