Your tits are I can't wait for
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
