im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
