I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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