Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
