Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hippo gnu deer
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
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