He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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