we have officially lost it.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
