he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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