69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
