there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
