question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
